Ask A Stibler...I'm not invited to a party...

Sophia, aged 8, from London wrote to say she hasn’t been invited to the birthday party of a girl in her class who she thought was her friend . What should she do?

‘Ouch!’ says Fox, with a grin. We tell him not to grin. ‘I’m being really serious,’ he says. ‘This is the worst thing that happens at school and it happens to everybody at some time in their life.’

‘You’re supposed to help!’ we say. Fox’s pointy teeth stick out, so it looks as if he’s smiling. ‘It’s no joke, being left out,’ he says at last. We all know this. ‘You can’t invite yourself to a party,’ he adds swishing his tail gayly. 

We may have to call in one of the other Stiblers to give advice here.

‘OK,’ says Fox parking himself neatly on the table. ‘Sophia, not being invited to a party, may not be anything to do with you!’  

This is definitely a new way of looking at things. Fox says, ‘ Maybe  numbers are limited, maybe your friend just chose the first 6 people she could think of. Maybe she thinks she should invite someone new. It’s a hurtful lump and bump in life, but, hey – friends can have weird reasons for doing stuff.’

Fox’s tongue pops out to lick his teeth. ‘Self-belief is the only answer,’ he adds cheerfully. We wait for more.

‘Have to believe that you’re ok,’ he grins. ‘Even when things don’t go how you want, you’re fine, you’re in one piece; the sun will rise tomorrow. Nothing need stop you from being yourself. Like me,’ he says proudly. ‘Don’t care what they say and who says it, I feel very happy being me, and so should you, Sophia. I never worry about party invitations.’

We doubt he’s been invited to many, but you never can tell with a Fox.

Emily Sayer